Family Meetings: Applying this Business School Concept to Estate Planning

                                                                                                          ©2016 by Joan E. Emery
                Business schools discuss family meetings in the context of a family business.  It is well accepted business school wisdom that family meetings can help a family business to survive and flourish.  Family meetings can bring family members together to discuss business goals and problems and to facilitate decision-making for the business.  Family meetings usually evolve in predictable ways as the business grows.  In the early stage of the family business, a family meeting is usually Mom, Dad, and their children sitting around the kitchen table.  As the first generation considers retirement, a family meeting often expands to include Mom, Dad, the children, the grandchildren, and possibly the spouses of children and grandchildren.  Eventually as time passes and the family grows, a family meeting may involve family members (and possibly their spouses) who had no contact with the ancestors who founded the business.
                In regard to a family business, family meetings can serve many purposes.  Some of the most common purposes are to manage existing conflicts, enhance family relationships, plan for the future (including business and family changes and anticipated growth), help children manage wealth, and transmit family values and traditions.  Each of these purposes can also be a purpose of estate planning.   Even though estate planning also has other aspects, such as tax planning and the creation of specific documents to carry out the estate plan, family meetings can further many estate planning goals. 
                When I first started practicing law, I saw very little communication between Mom and Dad, who were my clients, and their children and other family members.  Mom and Dad met with me and had an estate plan prepared.  The plan was implemented and Mom and Dad often said nothing to their children or other family members about their plan.  I have gradually seen some changes in the “cone of silence” that previously surrounded Mom and Dad’s estate plan.  One reason this may have occurred is that I recommend that Mom and Dad verify with the successor agents named in their powers of attorney that the successor agents are willing to act if the need arises.  Mom is usually the agent for Dad and vice versa, so the issue of willingness to act only exists for successor agents.  Mom and Dad may decide to provide the successor agents with copies of their powers of attorney.  I also recommend that Mom and Dad verify with their successor executors (and successor trustees, if there is or will be a trust created) that they are willing to act if the need arises.  Sometimes this leads to Mom and Dad to providing copies of their wills and trusts, if trusts are created, to the successor executor(s) and successor trustee(s).
                If you take the family meeting idea a step further, Mom and Dad can provide as much information regarding their estate plan to children and other family members as they deem appropriate in a letter or by scheduling a meeting with children and other family members.  Mom and Dad may decide to provide copies of some or all of their estate planning documents to children or other family members and to have a full and frank discussion about what the documents contain. 
                Two benefits of full disclosure by Mom and Dad are that possible conflicts may be brought into the open and discussed and everyone is “put on the same page,” which can lead to a stronger and more committed family group.  Some detriments of full disclosure are a loss of privacy by Mom and Dad and, occasionally, a family member who is dissatisfied with their estate plan or who wants to take advantage of Mom and Dad may try to use that information to try to secure greater benefits for himself or herself.  In the litigation side of my practice, I have seen situations where a family member failed to do the right thing and it has been my experience that wrongful acts flourish in an environment where secrecy, rather than disclosure, is the norm.  In an environment where information is not shared, a wrongdoer often thinks that he or she can act with impunity.  Additionally, if open disclosure continues as a result of subsequent family meetings, other family members will be informed of ongoing changes and it will be difficult for a dissatisfied or devious family member to be able to implement his or her plan.   
                If Mom and Dad decide to implement a plan of disclosure and discussion, the best time to do so is before it is needed.  By the time that Mom and Dad, or the survivor of them, are experiencing significant mental or physical problems, it can be difficult, and sometimes impossible, for them to put a plan of disclosure and discussion in place.